there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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