We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
