Grow some girl-balls and come out already
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
