I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
