what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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