Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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