so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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