Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
