If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
