I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
