Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
