Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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