You work out of a Hotel?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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