Me too!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
