I hate your face
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
