After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize