I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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