I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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