I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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