My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
