: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
