Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
