the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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