I wanna passion pit in your ass
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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