Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
