He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize