Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize