I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
