I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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