Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
