ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize