WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
