spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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