Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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