butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Damn victory sex feels great
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
