just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize