He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize