She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
