is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
