shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
