I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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