You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
