lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
