I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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