how can u be prego again
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Randomize
