so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
