wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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