no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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