butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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