saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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