and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
