I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
