I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I love having hate sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
