BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
