He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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