I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
