the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My pussy is not your playground.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
