I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She told me I should be a condom model.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
