Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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