My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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