I need help removing her.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
God, I missed his penis.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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