tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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