She's JV to your varsity
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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