I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
