Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
