Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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