I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A+ Viking dick
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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