Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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