Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i dont even know how to be here
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
