Pants 0. Shit 1.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize